Lauren’s journey has touched so many lives.  This could be a quote.  Actually it is.  It was on my facebook this morning by Kitty O’ Kane.   In fact, I keep hearing it over and over again.  What is interesting is all of our journeys touch so many lives.  Maybe not as public as Lolo’s has lately.  I would be pedantic if I explained to you why that is.  My guess is that if you read my blog, you realize why Lolo’s journey has touched your life.  Your reason is more valid than my explanation of it.

I think lately my friends are worried about my stress level and how I am doing.  But, they don’t need to.  Please also don’t worry about our lack of coinage and the breakdown of our cars and such.  We will be fine.  Money is not our worry right now, regardless of how little of it there may be.  I have realized that being broke in America is nothing like the poverty in the rest of the world.  Just the fact I am complaining about cars and microwaves means we have nothing to really be worried about in the terms of “stuff.”  Of course, my stress level is high. Lauren’s leukemia is AML.  It is Monoblastic AML.  She has leukemia cutis.  She is facing life-threatening leukemia that involves putting not just chemo, but life-threatening chemotherapy into her little body, more chemotherapy than they would ever give a grown adult.  That being said, I am not giving up hope or any positive beliefs I have about Lolo’s ability to fight this leukemia.  I will never, never ever give up on my little flower, ever.  I am worried about how she is doing.  Children with cancer are absolutely amazing.  They can be in the middle of a treatment and be in pain, but the minute it is over, they want to play and joke.  That is how Lolo was in  5^th grade when she fought leukemia like no other princess warrior.  I was humbled and on my knees in bewilderment at her grace and peaceful, fierce determination to be back with her friends.  However, Lolo is on the verge of becoming a grown up young lady.  She is so preciously, beautifully, elegantly fourteen years old.  She is like a dainty young fawn getting its legs ready to break free on the meadow…..and fly!  Yet, she is tender and young.  Her awareness of her place in the world is fighting with her playfulness.  Like most young ladies her age, she is becoming aware of her appearance and people’s response to it.  Lauren and her friends, and actually, all young women at her age are naturally stunning.  Their skin is so pretty.  Their bodies fit and active.  Their appearance has not been worn down by lack of sleep, too many glasses of wine, too many brownies, or the constant stress of daily life.  The hope of a happy, trouble free future bounces off their healthy glow.  But, Lauren is shrinking by the reality of her situation.  She is not enduring the pain and the isolation the way she did before.  She is getting even more quiet.  I see her more uncomfortable with her frail appearance and the tell-tale sign of her leukemia, her sweet bald little head.  Where did my dear, little, playful flower go?  I want you back!  I want to see you carefree again.

Last night, her path in her journey took a different direction.  Maybe it was the blessing of the Dalai Lama.  I couldn’t stand Lo being in her bed anymore and I wasn’t coming up with anything that would make her leave her bed.  I called Kim and asked her where all the kids were.  She said Kiley was sitting outside lighting off fireworks with a couple of the neighbors (who also happen to be Lolo’s buds).  I said…Can Lauren get her butt out there and hang with them….well, of course she could!!!  Kim & Kiley zipped over in no time and Lolo hung out with the neighbor kids outside doing what these Midtown Omaha kids do!  Outside and in a group of her own.  Yes, somewhat risky, but it was time.  She was all smiles when she came home.  She needs to get out before she goes back to that room.

It may seem like we are seeking attention for Lauren.  We are, however, certainly not in the Kardashian kind of media craving public way.  (Dan, Mrs. Clarke, how do I punctuate that?)  Attention to the plight of children suffering from cancer….Yes!  Are we wanting celebrities to pack into Lolo’s room?  No!  She did want to see the CWS players and was sad that she was home when they came up to the hospital.  She does want to meet some of these swimming superstars in Omaha for the Olympic Swim Trials.  Lolo was a little fish and swam on swim team at Field Club from the time she was 5 until last year.  Omaha loves its Swim Trials!!!

Did she love meeting Taylor Swift and have Taylor sing “Fearless” to her.  Well, duh!!!  But, what I love, absolutely love is how Lolo is learning about the world.  She is learning about fight, perseverance, determination, and a whole lot of humility from some experts.  I am her Mom.  Phil and I are supposed to be the experts and guide Jonathan and Lolo.  But, there is no handbook on raising a kid that has to battle this monster and come out unscathed.  Maybe I will write one someday.  Oh, wouldn’t that be nice?  Wouldn’t that be a dream come true!  In the future, when Lolo grows up and has children of her own, I will sit in my office and write how this went well and we all came out happy and healthy.  In the meantime, these people that she meets all teach her something.  Taylor taught her a lot.  Most of which was what an incredibly lovely human being she is.  The fact that she brought her fearless, kind mama with her is testament to who Taylor Swift truly is.  She taught our whole family about hanging tight to your family and who you really are, despite the assault by the outside world on your identity.  Taylor’s fight is with the outside world trying to define her. Lolo’s is with leukemia.  In addition to Taylor, Lolo’s teachers are wise priests, really good friends, neighbors, a few local celebrities.  If you are a wise person, you learn from the people around you, not only the successful ones, but the ones that have had to hit rock bottom and climb their way back up.  We are all Prophets, Priests, and Kings!!!  We are teachers and learners.  Many times I learned more from my students than they learned from me.  Yes, I bring people into Lolo’s fight to teach her.  You never know what kind of advice can help her.  Sometimes being a good parent is knowing when to get out of the way and encourage your child to learn from others.  I know I am trying to do that too right now.  I need help all the time knowing how to navigate this journey beside Lolo.  Now as she is fourteen and not ten, she has moved into the lead position of her journey.

Yes, her body is suffering, tremendously.  My panic is in her frailness and exhaustion.  I have been so worried that as she pulls back from her friends and sits alone, she will lose her fight.  But, the Dalai Lama knows that Lolo’s instincts and her own wisdom needs to guide her, not me.  Lolo will be ok with her friends when this is all over.  She may be terribly sad right now and frail.  It is ok for her to pull back and not want to be around anyone.  She is probably tuning herself in spiritually to greater teachers than what I know to bring to her.  I imagine as Lolo is resting and recovering, Jesus is sitting right by her side reassuring her.  The blessings of the Dalai Lama are reaching her and urging her on to trust the universe and herself.  I imagine Mother Mary stroking the soft fuzz on her head loving her through this.  Lately, Lolo doesn’t let me touch her much.  This is different than when she isn’t sick because she usually lets me hug her all the time.  Maybe this is because she is being held in other ways right now. I can’t tell you how uplifting the picture from the Dalai Lama was and is.  Here is what Laura O’Brien wrote to me about the experience:

He talked about how the body is just a body. About how lots of illnesses can come to the body. But if you keep your mind free and open and positive, I can change what those illnesses do to the body. He said please tell her that you met a very old man who has been through a lot of troubles, pain and hardship. And his body is still here. So it’s all about opening the mind and freeing the mind…. He was hugging us, grabbing our faces… He was so loving and amazing. This was God’s hand at work. The Root family took the sign on their trip and then shipped it to our hotel for Lauren’s volleyball club (Nebraska Elite Volleyball) national tournament. It arrived at the front desk at the same time that the Dalai Lama was arriving at our hotel. THIS WAS GOD’S HAND!!!! Mo Flannery and Sarah Cronin (who will attend Marian High School with Lauren next year) are also members of Lauren’s volleyball club and were available and on hand to meet with his Holiness to hold up the sign and get the pictures. GOD BLESS LAUREN. GOD BLESS the Dalai Lama! Laura O’Brien

There is no doubt in my mind that this was God’s hand bringing all of us together.  I was especially touched that this experience involved the people that it did.  Laura O-Brien and her twins are Lolo’s closest friends, not to mention, little red-heads like Lolobelle.  Lauren’s journey has been a huge struggle for these kids, not only because of the years they have been Lolo’s side in her fight, but because their other dear friend also has leukemia and they love him very much too.  Sarah Cronin’s family has been instrumental in the bone marrow drives that have been run.  I just found out that her dad’s company has been running them all over the Midwest.  I would like to say more about this, but need permission first.  I know Mo and Lolo will be good friends in high school because Lauren and Mo have similar spirits.  Mo’s whole family has been sending love to Lauren through this.  The fact that the timing involved the Root family shipping that sign in at the right time makes total sense to me.  Also, that sign was made by the kids with the help of our SMM teacher and Vice-Principal, Joanna Meysenberg…..that is a whole other story in itself.  Of course, Joanna was in the midst of all of this….of course, Kim & Kiley Root were stirring up goodness.  (Kim & Kiley were the driving force behind the snow angels!)   God’s hand was in this also because it has helped us focus back from the worldly to the spiritual.  The worldly strength is a phenomenal force, for sure, but the wisdom and power of the spirit far exceeds anything we physically will to happen.  I know I am verbose.  I am beating this horse.  So, I will stop.  The experience speaks for itself.  It is just a reminder that there are no real coincidences in life.  Lolo’s journey has brought miracles into focus for so  many of us.  Miracles do not have to be natural phenomena.  They happen every day if we learn to recognize them.  The timing of the poster and the Dalai Lama is a miracle because it is an act of God working in our lives.  I believe in miracles, do you?

There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” ― Albert Einstein

We are all on a journey.  It is fabulous when great teachers come before us to lead.  We just have to listen before we continue on our way. #GoLoloGo